Thursday, 14 February 2013
Thursday, 14 June 2012
MANNERS!
Cover your goddamned mouth when you cough!
Seriously!
That one is such a germaphobe she doesn't carry cash - only uses credit! And she just coughs into the air like a heathen! Wtf!
~ colour me disgusted
Seriously!
That one is such a germaphobe she doesn't carry cash - only uses credit! And she just coughs into the air like a heathen! Wtf!
~ colour me disgusted
Saturday, 2 June 2012
What would Jesus do?
Imagine - it's your day off and you've been looking forward to sleeping in all week.
Your dude has to work, and has the "endearing" hit-the-snooze-button-for-an-hour malfunction.
You FINALLY drift back to sleep, only to be woken up, 20 minutes later to a startling POUNDING on your front door.
You ignore it.
More POUNDING.
Zzzzzzz
MORE POUNDING.
Confused, and a little panicked, you shuffle, braless, to the front door, where two people are peeking in.
Jesus people.
Jesus, PEOPLE!
"How are you this morning, ma'am?"
"Well, I WAS SLEEPING."
Fuck.
I'm UP.
~fuck, shit, piss, goddamned mother fucker
Your dude has to work, and has the "endearing" hit-the-snooze-button-for-an-hour malfunction.
You FINALLY drift back to sleep, only to be woken up, 20 minutes later to a startling POUNDING on your front door.
You ignore it.
More POUNDING.
Zzzzzzz
MORE POUNDING.
Confused, and a little panicked, you shuffle, braless, to the front door, where two people are peeking in.
Jesus people.
Jesus, PEOPLE!
"How are you this morning, ma'am?"
"Well, I WAS SLEEPING."
Fuck.
I'm UP.
~fuck, shit, piss, goddamned mother fucker
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Guilty conscience
I wrote a post about throwing my budgie at the wall.
And then he died.
Fucking karma.
And then he died.
Fucking karma.
Once you pop, you can't stop.
Jesus. It is not, for a second, ever, under any circumstances, okay to spend any, especially prolonged, periods of time POPPING YOUR PIMPLES IN AN OPEN CONCEPT OFFICE!
WHAT US WRONG WITH YOU?!
I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!
~ zit remedy
WHAT US WRONG WITH YOU?!
I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!
~ zit remedy
Bad face day
What the fuck, face?
Why you gotta be looking' all gnarly and shit?
(I totally sounded like a gangsta there, didn't I?)
But seriously. The 'sunscreen for face' I applied to protect my fair skin from wrinkles resulted in a face so shiny, it looks like "I wash my face... With chocolate bars."
And hair? You're a fucking bastard. Hellooooooo. I just spent $75 on a hair cut and shampoo and conditioner. Where's that glossy mane I was promised?
And under eye circles? You can go fuck yourself.
~ troll
Why you gotta be looking' all gnarly and shit?
(I totally sounded like a gangsta there, didn't I?)
But seriously. The 'sunscreen for face' I applied to protect my fair skin from wrinkles resulted in a face so shiny, it looks like "I wash my face... With chocolate bars."
And hair? You're a fucking bastard. Hellooooooo. I just spent $75 on a hair cut and shampoo and conditioner. Where's that glossy mane I was promised?
And under eye circles? You can go fuck yourself.
~ troll
ISP, yeah you know me.
Dear Internet Service Provider,
PROVIDE ME WITH SOME FUCKING INTERNET, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!! deliver my goddamn emails then go fuck yourself!!! really really hard!!! repeatedly!!!!
super mad face, hard drive punch.
xoxoxoxoxo FUCK YOU.
***********
The best part about this post? She couldn't publish it. Her Internet wasn't working. BAHAHA.
PROVIDE ME WITH SOME FUCKING INTERNET, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!! deliver my goddamn emails then go fuck yourself!!! really really hard!!! repeatedly!!!!
super mad face, hard drive punch.
xoxoxoxoxo FUCK YOU.
***********
The best part about this post? She couldn't publish it. Her Internet wasn't working. BAHAHA.
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