Guilty conscience

I wrote a post about throwing my budgie at the wall.

And then he died.

Fucking karma.

Once you pop, you can't stop.

Jesus. It is not, for a second, ever, under any circumstances, okay to spend any, especially prolonged, periods of time POPPING YOUR PIMPLES IN AN OPEN CONCEPT OFFICE!

WHAT US WRONG WITH YOU?!

I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!

~ zit remedy

Bad face day

What the fuck, face?

Why you gotta be looking' all gnarly and shit?

(I totally sounded like a gangsta there, didn't I?)

But seriously. The 'sunscreen for face' I applied to protect my fair skin from wrinkles resulted in a face so shiny, it looks like "I wash my face... With chocolate bars."

And hair? You're a fucking bastard. Hellooooooo. I just spent $75 on a hair cut and shampoo and conditioner. Where's that glossy mane I was promised?

And under eye circles? You can go fuck yourself.

~ troll

ISP, yeah you know me.

Dear Internet Service Provider,

PROVIDE ME WITH SOME FUCKING INTERNET, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ahhhhh!!!!!!  deliver my goddamn emails then go fuck yourself!!! really really hard!!!  repeatedly!!!!

super mad face, hard drive punch.

xoxoxoxoxo  FUCK YOU.

***********

The best part about this post? She couldn't publish it. Her Internet wasn't working. BAHAHA.

Ok, computer

My colleague is so lazy he doesn't inflict when he speaks. What I mean is, he sounds like a robot.

Please shut the fuck up. If what you're talking about isn't exciting enough to you to say it like you mean it, I probably don't give a fuck, either.

~ robots freak me out