If I could make rules in this ridiculous universe, I would outlaw the eating of celery in an open-concept office space, especially when one offender us to my left, the other, to my right. It's fucking celery hour in stereo.
And CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED, for GOD's SAKE!
Okay. If I made the laws of the universe, I would actually make celery not crunch so loud. And it would taste like candy. But that's beside the fact.
~ work would be more bearable if you weren't here
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